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Archive for November, 2011

I am angry.

November 25, 2011 2 comments

I’m angry. Really angry. Angry enough to kill. Certainly inflict physical injury to the bastard who is responsible for causing one of my dearest people to breakdown so badly. If you ever read this, you asshole, you deserve to be hung upside down by your balls. After all, you don’t really need ‘em.

I’ve never really wanted to talk about this before. Mainly because I don’t think I am qualified to talk about it. I’ve never experienced it. It is easy to say this is horrible in general terms, and express outrage. But I don’t think you ever know till you’ve experienced it.

What I *have* experienced, is seeing someone I care about deeply, break down. Utterly and completely. Because some gutless SOB did what he had no business doing.

And if that hurts me so much, I can only imagine what the actual victim of sexual-harassment must go through.

And yet, what do we do about it? The same thing we collectively do for everything else that doesn’t really impact us directly, but allows us to take the moral high-ground and feel superior. We register our *impotent* outrage. We organize facebook petitions. We create twitter hashtags. We make it trend… till something new and shiny comes about, like, #ThingsToSayDuringSex. We are all armchair activists.

And while armchair activism is something that we as a nation specialize in, it is especially prevalent as far as *this* crime is concerned. It’s easy to condemn someone who groped a woman, and forget about it. After all, no one died. It happens to countless women, and they get on just fine. So why bother? And so, we blame the society, and the government, the history of male-domination. We blame the system.

Except that WE ARE THE BLOODY SYSTEM.

You and I are a part of this bunch of people that does candle-light marches and vigils and moves on to the next big issue. You and I are a part of this bunch that “adjusts” with the cop when caught speeding on their way back from an Anna Hazare rally. You and I are a part of this bunch of people that contains perverts who think they can behave inappropriately with a woman and get away with it.

The women, they silently suffer. They shed a few tears. Most feel ashamed and don’t want to fight. They know it’s a lost cause. They go on. The men, well, they sympathize and forget, because really, how many men have really been victims of a grope? They’ve done their duty and duly condemned the faceless mass of “sexual harassers”. Their job is done.

And so the perpetrators get away with it because no one really gives a fuck.

Well, enough.

Today, I resolve to start. Start being aware of what I must do to combat this menace. What each and every one of us CAN do to combat this menace. I don’t claim to change the system. Only myself. The system will follow.

I resolve to keep an eye out for instances of sexual harassment. I resolve to be there for the victims of it. If only to listen. If only as a support in their fight. I resolve to publicly shame anyone caught in the act. Take him (or her) to the police if I have to.

Oh and ladies – first, make sure you kick the guy in the balls. Second, scream. Make sure people know what happened. Most of these guys are gutless cowards who do it because they know they’ll get away with it. Don’t let ‘em. There are enough good people in this world, some of who will try and help. I am not saying this is easy. Instinct tells us to get away from unpleasantness. But try.

And please, protect yourselves. Just like you’d protect yourself against any other crime. Do not assume a stranger is trustworthy. Do not be on the road all by yourself. Travel with people you can trust. The “why should we curb our freedom” argument is valid, but the fact of the matter is, that is the nature of the beast…. And till it gets better, you NEED to do it. To think otherwise would be foolhardy.

This has gone on long enough. It’s time to stop talking, and start doing. And I’m starting today.

Thanks for listening.

Categories: rant, sexual harassment

Freedom. Choices.

November 21, 2011 2 comments

Human beings are creatures of choice. In life, you always make choices – based on what you “know” at that point in time.

The path you take, will then be constrained by the choice you’ve made. When you make the choice, you’ve committed to following that path until you come to yet another fork on the road – another choice. Not taking a particular road is also a choice you make – consciously or unconsciously.

And then? Then you’re just a “slave” to your choices.

So, individually, the only possible “freedom” that you could really ask for – is the freedom of choice. The only real freedom is the freedom to choose what to do next.

But man is also a social animal. And so there are groups. And the group may limit your choices to preserve itself. And power is the privilege of deciding which choice a group is allowed to make, and enforcing that discipline. So, if you are in a group, you choose to live with these constraints in return for what the group gives you.

So, here we are in our little groups, our little world – family, society, state, country – and the only possible definition of freedom is, really, the freedom to choose what bounds to be bound by.

Categories: life, philosoraptor